Letting Go

This afternoon our son headed out to start his second year of law school. He was home this summer doing a non-paid legal internship in the PM and working on a hot, dirty roof, for pay, in the AM. I loved having him home and relished every minute he was here with us. And then, for me, came the dreaded day of his leaving.

So as we were packing his stuff today, I tried to be all cool and happy and not freak out and cry or anything, at least in front of him. After all, I am a Master's level counselor! Calm and composed...sure, right! You know, totally collected, keeping the emotions in check...check, check, check! I quickly lapsed into my organizational mode, running the ticker-tape in my head as I rattled off each item while he put it in its spot for transport.

No freaking, I told myself. That comes later -- when I'm driving down the road and hear Coldplay or Dierks, or when I go into his room and it's not a wreck, or when I don't need to add an extra plate for dinner, or when it hits me that there's less, not more, laundry to do, or when I don't hear him yelling at his video games or cheering for the Chicago Cubs, win or lose! Or calling me on his cell phone from 10 ft. away with his request to bake his favorite Ghirardelli brownies -- now, please!

Letting go...no matter how old you are, how experienced you are, how smart you are, how successful you are, how educated you are, how cool you are or how whatever else you are...letting go is difficult. It's hard. It's no fun. It just is. It is just that strange and sure something that we need to do to get on down the road of life.

Remember when you lost your job? Remember when you were up for that promotion and got passed over? Remember when you thought for certain you'd be offered that new position and didn't get it? Was it easy, or hard, for you to let go and move on? I recall offering these words of counsel to an HR Manager several years ago as she struggled to make sense of staying at, or leaving, her job. I remember saying "you can't hang on and let go at the same time...you can do one, or the other, not both." Funny how that's so much easier said than done on this particular day.

posted by: billiesucher

Comments

[Heather Mundell]

This post hit me square in the gut.

It reminds me of a quote I cut out of a magazine that's on my bulletin board over my desk: "Learning to let go begins with understanding why you've been hanging on."

So so difficult, yet really so freeing when we succeed. Thank you.

[billiesucher]

Your quote is wonderful! Thanks much, Heather.