What Really Matters

I arrived early at the place last Friday morning and paced up and down the hallway, watching and waiting for a dear friend I'd met 20+ years ago on the first day of graduate school. I vividly remember that long ago day, entering the classroom in a taupe-colored suit and heels. She was in jeans with a funky-looking shirt and a beaded band stretched around her head. I recalled thinking to myself...this will be interesting.

Interesting became one of my best friends. For 18 months, we were inseparable. We got our Master's together and then our paths took some twists and turns and we didn't see each other as much. You know, the usual holiday letter and an occasional announcement about a graduation here and a marriage there. She relocated, remarried, and went on to get her doctorate. I had two more kids and went on to build a business and write poems and books and blogs. Life.

I hadn't seen her for a few years and was anxious to do so. The e-mail had indicated that services would start at 10:30 A.M.  What do I say when I see her? What would be most appropriate? Or do I say nothing? Will she recognize me? The car arrived. She was out the door in an instant. Our eyes met; she knew me. No words were exchanged. We just held on to each other and cried. And finally I mumbled, I am so very sorry. She said I know. And then it was time to gather, to remember, and to celebrate her mother's life.

What really matters? Is is money? Is it fame? Prestige? Is it career success? Is it possessions and riches and wealth and gain? Is it doing good deeds for others? Is it doing the right thing all the time, not just when someone's looking? Is it helping someone do better, be better? Is is taking a risk? Does it mean stepping up for the first time in your life? Does it mean listening more than you talk? Is it keeping closer in touch? Is it quitting the job you despise and going after what you really want? Is it offering a smile to ease the tension of the person you're interviewing? Is it making the dreaded phone call to forgive someone who's hurt your feelings? Does it mean that you'll contact the Admission's Office today and figure out how to finish that last six hours of your college degree?

Is it simply standing by a door on a hot and humid summer morning, waiting for a friend?

posted by: billiesucher

Comments

[Dale Kurow]

Beautifully written and expressed, Billie.
Sometimes simply being there, as you did, is the greatest gift.
Thanks so much for sharing,
Dale

[Larry Lehmer]

Very nice, Billie. I'd say you've got it figured out just right. Your friend is fortunate to have a friend like you.

[billiesucher]

Dale, thanks for your kind words -- very much appreciated. And Larry, as always, your comments are so thoughtful! Thanks to you both for reading CareerHub! :-)

[Lea]

My Mom died in May, and the number of people I love but hadn't seen in a while who came to the service helped me tremendously. Yes, life is about being there for someone who needs you. That someone appreciates it, no matter how long its been since you talked. One of my high school teachers/mentors came to my Mom's service, and that gesture is one I'll always remember.

[billiesucher]

Yes, Lea to know that people care makes all the difference. Losing a parent is such a sad and difficult time; may you find comfort and strength through the love and friendship of others. Thank you for your comment. ~BRS