Beggars Can’t Be Choosers - What Nonsense

“I’ll do anything - beggars can’t be choosers. Especially in the current market.”

That’s a line quoted by someone I spoke with recently just after she had been laid off.  Jane works with a friend of mine who had referred her to me for some advice, just a day after she learned about her redundancy.

When I pointed out what she had said and how this type of thinking was like poison to her job search and the overall health of her career, she quickly replied “Oh, I would never say that to a recruiter or future employer.”

It doesn’t matter.

The fact that you are talking or thinking like this, even just to yourself, means it matters hugely. I know that ‘beggars can’t be choosers’ is one of those clichés, but there is sometimes a danger that clichés and stories actually become self-fulfilling prophesies.

As I pointed out to Jane, this type of thinking is faulty because:

1. Losing your job due to the downsizing of a business in a difficult market does not make you a ‘beggar’
2. Being made redundant does not make you ‘damaged goods.’  Over time, it can actually enhance your character and life experience and can in fact make you more valuable in the job market
3. Employers, recruiters and contacts are put off by desperate-sounding people who are grateful for just anything
4. People are attracted to confident (not cocky) people who place a strong value on themselves, their skills and expertise
5. Employers are drawn to people who can competently articulate their unique strengths and abilities and demonstrate what value they offer. You can’t do this if you think you’re worthless
6. Most people will have talents and strengths that are of value in the market – ok, it may require some work for some people to figure out what they are. But you don’t discover it by self-defeating thinking

This is more than a little bit of ‘positive thinking’ – it’s much bigger than that.

It’s all part of what I call the ‘inner game’ of career management - building a level of self-esteem and self-value which means you attract opportunities that do you justice.

Ask Tiger Woods, Michael Jordan or David Beckham how important the inner game has been to their overall success and I’m sure they will tell you it has played a huge part in helping them deal with set-backs throughout their careers.

That’s all redundancy is - it is a set back and should not define who you are or the limit the value you bring to potential employers. Managed and marketed the right way, being laid off can actually be an asset in your job search and future career.

For job searchers, developing a level of mental strength and emotional fitness is as important – if not more important - than the practicalities of applying for jobs, preparing CVs/resumes and interviewing. It is the foundation upon which all the job search tactics should be based.

So stop reading all the bad press, stop believing all the noise about everything being so bad and stop listening to that crazy voice in your head that tells you you’re worthless and a ‘beggar’ because you lost your job.

Instead, start believing that you have something to offer, get really clear on what that is and develop your own story to communicate to the outside world. Once you have that foundation in place, it’s time to get out into the market with a sense of confidence and optimism.

Having only spent a short amount of time on the call with Jane explaining some of the above points, we quickly identified her unique strengths and how they can apply in the current market. I could sense the light bulb going on in her head as we came up with a plan of how to approach her job search.

Later that afternoon I received an email from my friend who had referred her:

“Sital, I think you have another fan. I don’t know what you said to Jane, but compared to this morning she seems 2 foot taller!”

It wasn’t so much what I said – I was just the catalyst – it was more about what she had decided to start saying to herself about her situation.

If you're job searching after being laid off, you will have to work harder to get back into a job in the current market. You will possibly need to be flexible about the type of roles and salaries you will consider. But quit telling yourself that your a 'beggar' - it does you nor the people around you any good at all.

By Sital Ruparelia, Cross posted on the 6 Figure Career Management blog

Comments

[Paul]

Wonderful article. I'm a big proponent of living in the solution rather than the problem - and it can be a test of endurance for many job seekers during these troubles times. Reminds me of a good Wm. James quotes - “The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind."

[Dan Erwin]

Beggers can't be choosers really is nonsense. I find that people too often articulate their skills in terms of previous jobs. In contrast, those of us in the consulting business have long since learned to talk about our skills so that we can readily "bluff" our way into new opportunities. I use "bluff" in a very positive way...I'm not interested in a job that is merely reflective of past experience...I always look for something new while in the process...thus the necessity of bluffing.

What do you think about that?

[Jessica Howard]

One way to get out of the "beggars can't be choosers" mentality is to step back and reflect on long-term career goals. Rather than making career decisions in response to the jobs posted on the "visible" market, ask yourself what experience and connections are needed to move toward your personal goals. Think about how you can create those experiences and connections. When you look at it this way, you start to become active in the process, rather than reactive.