Messing Up, Rejection, Being Nervous

This morning, I had the good fortune of being one of the presenters for a Leadership Forum for junior and senior high school students from various districts around the state. It was such fun and as usual, I learned something.

The first part of my program was what I call nuts and bolts-- facts, thoughts, and ideas about the next chapter of life beyond the high school walls. The second part of the program was an opportunity for students to introduce themselves, share their interests, a goal or two, as well as share their biggest fear about going on an interview. To the right, and to the left of the student speaker was a six-panel cheerleading squad to cheer on each of the speakers as they approached and departed the designated "speaking spot." Of course that doesn't happen in "real" life, but for today, it worked! As the students delivered their presentations, repeatedly, these three things were shared in response to their biggest interview fear:

1. I don't want to mess up
2. I am afraid of rejection
3. I worry about being nervous

So, whether you're a 17-year-old high school student, or a 37 year-old-up-and-comer or a seasoned pro, interviewing is interviewing. It means you're in the hot seat! That said...

1. When you mess up, it gives you a chance to do something better next time. When you mess up, you may learn from your mistakes. When you mess up, it affords you an opportunity to identify areas for improvement in the future. When you mess up, hopefully, you won't make the same mistake again, and if you do, back to learning.
2. Rejection is such a powerful thing. It can control you; it can catapult you! So what is rejection? According to the students...it means you don't get picked; it means you're told no; it means they don't want you; it means....(fill in the blank). The point, as we discussed in class, each of us at one time or another, gets rejected. Yet, when we hear that terrible R word, we freak out, feel bad, stop doing whatever it was we were trying to do and really, how silly is that? As one of the students said, you just gotta' try some more. Good wisdom from a high schooler for today's job seeker, whether you're 27, 47, or 67.

3. Being nervous. If you have a tendency to get nervous or get yourself so worked up that you can't even hear the hiring manager's questions, make note of this as something you need to work on and focus on -- then work on it and focus on it instead of going to all of your interviews a nervous wreck. Who wants to interview a nervous wreck? It makes it painful for the person doing the interviewing and it makes it very painful on yourself. Practice, practice, practice and if you still have trouble calming yourself, get some professional help and discover some strategies that work for you and support you.

How about it...what is your biggest fear about going on an interview?

posted by: billiesucher

Comments

[justin lucero]

fear of messing up, not saying the right thing when asked a question i get completely vulnerable.

[billiesucher]

Justin, thanks for your comment...perhaps you will find this helpful...1. listen to the question 2. process it and 3. share your response. By process, I mean carefully consider what you have been asked and then deliberately and carefully choose how you respond to it. The process part buys you some time before you answer the question. HTH.
- billie sucher

[Sital]

Billie,
Great story and great article

Justin,

Being slightly vulnerable and not being totally 'polished' with your answer makes you real and to some interviewers, you'll be a more attrtactive candidate. As bilie says, the way to improve is just have more goes, more rejections, more messing up. That's how we get better at anything in life....

[Rodney Cooley]

My biggest fear is not getting picked for a job even though I nailed the interview. In this competitive job market, it has happened a few times.

The interviews have been giving me good experience, so hopefully when the right job comes along, I will be able to be perfect!

[billiesucher]

Hi Rodney!

Thanks for your thoughts...the good news is that you're getting interviews -- that says a lot about you so you must be doing a lot of things right! Keep up the good work, until...

- Billie Sucher