4 Steps To Make Your Networking Effortless

I Hate...

• I hate formal 'networking events.' The ones where you have to 'work a room.'

• I hate 'networking breaks' at seminars and conferences where you have people madly collecting business cards and staring over your shoulder (instead of looking and listening to you) to see who else they can exchange business cards with after they've finished with you.

• I  hate breakfast networking events - I'm a night owl and so prefer to avoid early morning appointments and events wherever possible.

• I hate blogs where the people taking part in conversations are simply there to self promote: comments such as "Hey great article! By the way, your readers should take a look at my 6 part course on xyz - follow this link now!" (I never ever click on those links).

• I hate networking with anyone that doesn't say 'thank you.' Good manners cost nothing. Bad manners tell me lots about the other person. 

• And don't ask me why, but I don't really like Facebook - it's just not my thing.

I Love..

• I love hanging out in coffee shops and hotel lounges with nice sofas to catch up with friends and professional contacts.

• I love going for drinks in cool bars where you can actually hear yourself speak - especially if they've got nice sofas (..as you can see, it's all about the sofas for me!).

• I love pinging an email or a LinkedIn note to introduce two people in my network who I think may be able to help each other. Not because I want a 'kick back' or a favour; but because I enjoy connecting people. And as a by product of this, I strengthen my relationship with them

• I love sitting in the lounge at my local gym (on a comfy sofa off course) with my Blackberry and emailing or calling people I haven't spoken to for a while just to say "hey, long time no speak - how are things?" 

• I love catching up with old friends over an informal dinner

• I love LinkedIn - not sure why, but I feel more at home there than on Facebook

• I love blogs where there is an exchanging of ideas, resources, opinions and debate in the comments sections. A genuine desire to add to the content/discussion rather than it being all about self gain and self promotion.

• I think I'll eventually get to love Twitter - I just need to spend more time there

Networking With Authenticity Is Effortless

I find networking effortless because I choose those networking activities that play to my strengths and natural style. So instead of it being a chore - it's fun. Anything that is fun is effortless. And any activity that is effortless, is more likely to yield the results you want.

I mean, who says networking "should" involve going to fancy 'networking events' and 'working a room?' That's just one version.

Networking is all about establishing and developing genuine relationships - you can't build genuine relationships if you feel really uncomfortable and a bit of a fraud. So network in a way that feels natural and authentic to you and you'll build deeper relationships and be better placed to attract the kind of results you want.

How To Network Effortlessly

1. Choose the networking activities you love

Those networking activities (or relationship building activities), that you really enjoy. The ones that come naturally to you and have always come naturally to you.

2. Avoid networking acitivities which you hate 

Activities which don't suit your style and make you think "that's just not me."

3. Be honest with yourself

There's a big difference between activities which are not your natural style - and activities which you're scared to try out because they are outside your comfort zone.

So yes, play to strengths - but please don't use this article as an excuse to avoid testing your comfort zone!

4. Keep a close eye on these 21 networking tips 

By Sital Ruparelia

 

Comments

[Gail]

Yes, I am in total agreement. You must find your comfort zone otherwise you will not be successful. People will sense that you are not comfortable and this will make them uneasy,as well. So go forward with what you know about yourself and you will be a better networker.

[Melissa]

Great insight!

I think job hunting in today's world is particularly challenging for the older job seekers who are trying to catch up with all that has changed since their last job hunt. They may try to go to networking events because "it's the thing to do." The reality is that the networking they have been doing for years -- reconnecting with friends -- is just as valid.

[Tim]

Sital, great post! I cannot agree with you more. I've been to a lot of networking events in the past few months and I leave many of them scratching my head wondering what I got out of it. I'll add another couple: I hate networking events that cost $30 or more...as someone "in transition" I sometimes wonder who is trying to profit off me. I also hate most networking events at bars...I agree with you that it is fine if you can hear and have a conversation, but most that I've attended get pretty noisy.

Oh, one other thing. Maybe this is an idea for a future post(?)...I get invites to connect on LinkedIn after the briefest of conversations at some events. We might talk for literally 20 seconds and exchange business cards. I feel uncomfortable connecting with someone I know so little about. How do other people feel about this?

Thanks again!

[Eleanor G. Farmer]

This post really hit home with me. I hate most of those things too. I especially hate getting requests to "follow me" or "connect with me" or "friend me" from people that I don't know, are not in my network, or have nothing in common with my business or interests. Further, they don't take the time to explain why they want to connect. These I ignore. I also hate feeling guilty about not updating my Twitter or Face Book page when I have nothing to say. Most of the things I do have no interest to anyone but me and the people I actually see or speak with each day. Who else cares?

[Sital]

Thanks so much for the comments. As always, I learned as much from writing this post as the people reading it. Now i won't feel guilty about sitting around in a coffee shop all afternoon sending a few emails - i can say i've been networking!

@Gail - agree you say "feeling as ease" with yourself is key people trusting you and connecting you.

@Melissa - I actually think mature candidates should be in the driving seat with networking. Whilst the young folk may be into new technology and 'events', face to face relationship building is key - it's the stuff mature candidates have done for years without calling it 'networking'.

@Tim/Eleanor - Ditto. I find the random 'connect with me' emails annoying too.
But, at the same time I suppose it's a learing curve for most people who may a)not much experience with social media platforms and b) historically not been great at relationship building with new people

[Scott Woodard]

Ah Sital, another great post! This is one I'll share with my clients (if that's OK with you) who literally cringe when we talk about networking. When I mention that they should ask questions and listen to new people they meet, rather than sell themselves, I can see them relax. Your post may help provide more perspective.

~ Scott

[Sital]

thanks Scott.

Sure, you're welcome to reprint the article as required

[Karen Williams]

Hi Sital
Great post thank you and I totally agree. Great and worthwhile networking for me is about getting contacts that I can meet on a one to one basis, refer on clients and connect to other people.
Karen

[Dan Eustace]

Sital,

Well done!

So it seems you suggest doing a "networking skills self-assessment".
Hmm. That may also suggest identifying the needed skills-- effective
listening, small talk, body language communication, when your energy
level is maximum, etc. for each situation. Then, enhance your skill
set.

Thanks,
Dan