Do You Take This Employer To Be Your Lawfully Wedded...

Anniversaries. Do you remember them? Do you forget them? Today is my wedding anniversary and I remember the day I got married as vividly as though it happened a few months ago instead of a long time ago.

I was so excited to get married that when asked by the wedding coordinator what time would you like to hold the wedding, afternoon or evening? I said "neither...I want to get married in the morning!" Who wants to wait all day to get married? Not me! And so it was, 10:30 A.M. those many years ago my father confidently placed his big strong hand over mine as we started that long, deliberate stroll to give-me-away-for-life to the tall Texan waiting at the end of the line (aisle) *See entry #14 :) While my father is now gone, the treasured memories of that special day linger always...

So what, might you wonder, does this personal-sounding blog post have to do with career success or job search? Plenty! Looking for employment, in many ways, is much like searching for a mate. You may go on a bunch of dates (interviews) before you find the right person (employer). You may accept the job offer, say 'I do' and get married (think: W2) or you may choose to share time together in an unmarried arrangement (think: 1099). Regardless of choice, contemplate the following ideas and consider how similar a marital relationship is to a successful employer / employee marriage:

1. Offer unconditional support and interest.
2. Let your employer / employee know that you care about them.
3. Remain non-judgmental and open-minded.
4. Be tolerant and patient with one another -- and others.
5. Do not think that you are the only one with the right answer.
6. Communicate open, honestly and consistently.
7. Say good morning and good night and don't end the day on a negative, bitter or angry note.
8. Enjoy good times together -- have f u n!
9. Set goals together, making sure you are both dancing to the same song.
10. Do not think a relationship is a 50-50 deal...sometimes, it is 50-50; other times it is 75-25; 80-20 and/or 100 to zero. It's giving, sharing and compromising, always.
11. Do not lend money unless 1. you're a banker or 2. you're really okay with not getting your money back.
12. Accept that each is constantly changing; grow together, not apart.
13. Respect one another and earn the trust of one another.
14. Keep a sense of humor; laugh at yourself.
15. Invest in the success of one another.
16. Recognize each other's feelings and respect the fact that another's preferences may be different from your own.
17. Look for what's right, not what's wrong.
18. Be nice when giving constructive feedback or advice.
19. Do not 'boss' or try to control one another.
20. Listen attentively without interruption.
21. Hold 'meetings' on a consistent basis to review how 'things' are going, what is working and what needs attention.
22. Do not prey on each other's vulnerabilities.
23. Accentuate the positives; do not dwell on weaknesses or shortcomings.
24. Change what you can to make things work better together as a team.
25. When the times are tough, be tougher than the time.
26. Share responsibilities; be accountable; clarify expectations.
27. Trust that you will be tested, time and again, in your partnership.
28. Always try to be fair and reasonable.
29. Honor your word; do what you say you will do, when you say you will; keep your promises or don't make them.
30. Do not take each other for granted.
31. Keep a 'level head' in unexpected and/or problematic situations.
32. Know what you will lose, give up or sacrifice if and/or when you choose to 'cross the line.'
33. Accept one another for what and who you are.
34. Know what kind of 'test-taker' you are, as you will be tested time and again.
35. Believe the the toughest thing is to stay together and that the easiest thing is to walk.
36. Review your commitment to one another annually.

To anniversaries, and to your continued career success!

cross-posted billiesucherblog

Comments

[Drew Hawkins]

This is a great parallel for how to look at employment like a marriage. For me personally, the list was educational as well since I'm getting married here in the next year. Learned a lot at both ends of the table.

[billiesucher]

Drew, what a wonderful comment to make! Glad you could pick up a few tips -- congratulations on your upcoming marriage!

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It's a funny article, but full of sense, relating marriage to marrying business, being faithful to it etc.

[billiesucher]

paid to read emails...your comment is appreciated...yes, many commonalities between the two.

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