Anniversaries. Do you remember them? Do you forget them? Today is my wedding anniversary and I remember the day I got married as vividly as though it happened a few months ago instead of a long time ago.
I was so excited to get married that when asked by the wedding coordinator what time would you like to hold the wedding, afternoon or evening? I said "neither...I want to get married in the morning!" Who wants to wait all day to get married? Not me! And so it was, 10:30 A.M. those many years ago my father confidently placed his big strong hand over mine as we started that long, deliberate stroll to give-me-away-for-life to the tall Texan waiting at the end of the line (aisle) *See entry #14 :) While my father is now gone, the treasured memories of that special day linger always...
So what, might you wonder, does this personal-sounding blog post have to do with career success or job search? Plenty! Looking for employment, in many ways, is much like searching for a mate. You may go on a bunch of dates (interviews) before you find the right person (employer). You may accept the job offer, say 'I do' and get married (think: W2) or you may choose to share time together in an unmarried arrangement (think: 1099). Regardless of choice, contemplate the following ideas and consider how similar a marital relationship is to a successful employer / employee marriage:
- Offer unconditional support and interest.
- Let your employer / employee know that you care about them.
- Remain non-judgmental and open-minded.
- Be tolerant and patient with one another -- and others.
- Do not think that you are the only one with the right answer.
- Communicate open, honestly and consistently.
- Say good morning and good night and don't end the day on a negative, bitter or angry note.
- Enjoy good times together -- have f u n!
- Set goals together, making sure you are both dancing to the same song.
- Do not think a relationship is a 50-50 deal...sometimes, it is 50-50; other times it is 75-25; 80-20 and/or 100 to zero. It's giving, sharing and compromising, always.
- Do not lend money unless 1. you're a banker or 2. you're really okay with not getting your money back.
- Accept that each is constantly changing; grow together, not apart.
- Respect one another and earn the trust of one another.
- Keep a sense of humor; laugh at yourself.
- Invest in the success of one another.
- Recognize each other's feelings and respect the fact that another's preferences may be different from your own.
- Look for what's right, not what's wrong.
- Be nice when giving constructive feedback or advice.
- Do not 'boss' or try to control one another.
- Listen attentively without interruption.
- Hold 'meetings' on a consistent basis to review how 'things' are going, what is working and what needs attention.
- Do not prey on each other's vulnerabilities.
- Accentuate the positives; do not dwell on weaknesses or shortcomings.
- Change what you can to make things work better together as a team.
- When the times are tough, be tougher than the time.
- Share responsibilities; be accountable; clarify expectations.
- Trust that you will be tested, time and again, in your partnership.
- Always try to be fair and reasonable.
- Honor your word; do what you say you will do, when you say you will; keep your promises or don't make them.
- Do not take each other for granted.
- Keep a 'level head' in unexpected and/or problematic situations.
- Know what you will lose, give up or sacrifice if and/or when you choose to 'cross the line.'
- Accept one another for what and who you are.
- Know what kind of 'test-taker' you are, as you will be tested time and again.
- Believe the the toughest thing is to stay together and that the easiest thing is to walk.
- Review your commitment to one another annually.
To anniversaries, and to your continued career success!