The R Word: Rejection

Another year has rolled around and another rejection letter has arrived. 2012 is here and you read and then re-read the text you just received ….Thnx Ben for your time tho we filled position w/ another candidate. Good luck in future! RJL

And you quietly repeat the words: Good luck in future…..good luck in future…good luck in future.

Let’s say you are now up to 23 rejections; maybe more; maybe less since your job hunt started. Getting rejected, for most of us, is no fun. Getting rejected hurts. Getting rejected, in the words of many of my clients, sucks with a capital S.  That said, you have also probably heard the old adage….Rejection goes with the territory.

Whether it’s the job you didn’t get, the promotion that hasn’t happened, or the date who tells you you’re an awesome person, but….. rejection really does goes with the territory.

Listed below are a few ideas to consider as you deal with the R word: rejection!

1. Make a list of the one thing (and/or everything) you feel rejected about. Make the list as long as you want. Maybe it will be three words; maybe it will be three pages. Instead of stuffing and replaying the R-word script over and over in your head, dump it. Deal with it, dump it, be done with it. (That’s all easier said in a blog post than done…still, it’s a start!)
2. Instead of focusing on all that is wrong with you, why not focus on some ‘things’ that are right with you – your assets, gifts, strengths, talents, and competencies?
3. Instead of beating yourself up over one more rejection as though you deserved it or had it coming, why not build yourself up? What’s one thing you could do right now to build yourself up and/or alleviate some of the stress you may be feeling? Maybe it’s something as simple (and special) as reaching out to a good friend or family member and hearing their voice.
4. Keep the R word in perspective. My clients and friends who work as professional sales executives / representatives will be the first to tell you:  it takes a lot of no’s to get to a yes.
5. Establish a Coping With Rejection List and keep it handy. If you don’t know what to put on the list, ask others how they manage rejection. (Or ask Google!). Read, take a walk, listen to music, meditate, journal, go to the library, help somebody with something.
6. What, if anything, can you change about your job search to change the results and outcomes of your efforts? If you are struggling to figure this out, consider hiring a professional to help you think this through.
7. Consider how you must be doing something right and how you can’t win if you don’t play. Yesterday, my client and I were discussing how job search is a game of strategy. What additional strategies can you add to your job hunt to garner more interviews? As you know, more interviews lead to more chances to a. get a job offer and/or b. get rejected again. Aren’t you worth giving yourself another chance to go for an offer?
8. Do not take yourself out of the job search game! In the words of Vince Lombardi, “Winners never quit and quitters never win.” You are not a quitter, so don’t quit on yourself and on your chances of finding a good fit.
9. Keep going on job search dates. I like my colleague’s wisdom: Have yourself a perfect pity party and then, get about your business. Go on another date with another organization and keep going out on dates until you find the one who wants to marry you.
10. What has worked for you in dealing with rejection in the job search?

 “Do not waste yourself in rejection; do not bark against the bad, but chant the beauty of the good.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

cross-posted billiesucherblog