Networking Hall of Shame

Lately I've been the victim of some pretty pathetic networking. Networking is about sharing information and building trust and rapport, yet lately I feel like some people who want to network with me are doing just the opposite. Here are some of the most common offenses I have experienced.

1. Dropping the Ball. Someone who I have never met contacted me and asked if we could speak because she was interested in becoming a career coach and wanted to learn more about the profession. She said she could talk anytime it was convenient for me and we set up a time to speak. About an hour before the call I got an email from her telling me she couldn't make our appointment and could she reschedule. I sent her two alternative meeting times and she never responded to me.
2. Being Inflexible. A former client sent me and his entire network a message via Plaxo with a professional question he was seeking guidance on. I told him he could contact me between 2pm and 5pm that day and we settled on 5pm. He emailed me at 4:30pm, saying it really wasn't convenient for him to talk on any day until after 6pm.  
3. Not respecting my time. An acquaintance asked for some pro bono job search advice and we set up a time to meet. He called me the morning of, requesting to push the appointment back 45 minutes. 
4. Being Lazy. A person who I have never met who has worked at the same company I once worked for sent me a canned LinkedIn invitation that read "Since you are a person I know and trust, I would like to connect with you." 
5. Being Pushy. A colleague of mine who is in sales asked me to introduce her to a decision maker at a professional association event. She then proceeded to pitch her company's products and services as soon as she started shaking the person's hand.
6. Taking Advantage of the Relationship. A client asked me to introduce her to one of my colleagues from a previous employer. After the introduction was made, I never heard from the client again until 18 months later when she lost the contact information for the colleague and wanted me to supply it again.  
7. Taking Too Much of My Time. A referral from a professional organization asked to speak to me for advice on making a career transition into a role as a Human Resources practitioner (my former profession). She asked for a few minutes by phone...she took 45.
8. Being a Stalker. Someone who I have never met, contacted me through LinkedIn and asked me if we could meet in Central Park to chat about her career transition. I opted for a phone call instead.

Don't get caught in the networking hall of shame. People want to help, but you need to network on their terms and be respectful of their time. Gotta run...my appointment (the one who pushed the meeting back by 45 minutes is waiting for me in the lobby!

Posted by Barbara Safani
  
  

Comments

[Louise Fletcher]

Wow, those are some horror stories!

I have to admit that I'm careful about spending time on networking calls these days for all the reasons above. So few of them ever seem to turn into anything and they take far more time than a quick email or Twitter exchange, (which for me has actually yielded more value so far).

[Barbara Safani]

Louise,

I also think that Twitter and email are excellent tools for building efficiencies into the networking process, however I do appreciate the face time when it is managed correctly. Many people are great networkers who build authentic relationships and reciprocate with help and advice frequently. But unfortunately, a few bad networkers can give the whole process a bad name.

[Dawn Bugni]

It's lack of consideration - plain and simple. What's so sad is job seekers take that "me-centric" approach into a job search and then wonder why they don't get interviews or call backs. And people who make the networking faux pas you describe never quite figure out why people stop calling them back. We seem to have forgotten simple thank-yous and respect go a long way in building lasting relationships. No matter how crazy life gets or how busy we become, there is no excuse for rudeness.

[Barbara Safani]

Dawn,

I think a lot of these faux-pas are made unintentionally, but they still influence perception and opinions. Like everything else, networking needs to be learned and I'm hoping that others can learn from the mistakes outlined in the post.

[Carol]

Definitely good things to avoid. There’re also some very useful networking tips and on this site: http://www.spherion.com.

[Linsey Levine]

You are so right! Here's another example: I just received a blind letter from someone I don't know with his resume attached asking for my help in leaving the apparel industry after 15 years. His note states he's "out of work" and considering new industries - could he "pick my brain" about possibilities for someone with his background in alternative fields...and then goes on to explain everything he's done in the apparel industry. If he's not taking the time to think about transferable skills and how they might fit anywhere else, why should I?
At all my ExecuNet Networking meetings, we stress relationship building, gaining trust, giving first, making a connection before asking for something, and consideration.

[Rick Saia]

Nice post and an excellent string of comments. Not everyone has learned that networking involves much more giving than receiving. I wonder if some of the offenses you described, Barbara, are indicative of how these people behave at work. There are lessons in there for everyone.

[Barbara Safani]

Hi Linsey! Reciprocity is so important. I really appreciate when I am able to share valuable informatin with people and they respond with thanks and follow up by asking me if there is anything they can do for me.

[Barbara Safani]

Thanks Rick! Interesting observation. Something I have noticed is that my most successful clients are the ones who have stories of success about sharing information to build stronger teams and multiple examples of how they have mentored others. I think people who "get" networking create more opportunities and get more out of both their professional and personal relationships.

[Kelly Magowan]

A great post with some pretty amazing poor networking examples. I agree that sometimes those seeking help need to be more respectful of those they are seeking help from. Sometimes I think perhaps it is due to ignorance, not being in the right frame of mind and as someone suggested, they are all consumed by their own problems and are too ‘me centric’.

I am also in the careers and recruitment space Six Figures, www.sixfigures.com.au and am always happy to share information and to help out people or point them in the right direction. However I have also had those experiences where people really are just taking advantage and are not respecting my time or expertise – mostly when it is pro bono. I sometimes wonder when you provide careers support pro bono do people respect the advice and the person’s time less - I am not sure. I am all for helping those who want to help themselves however there are still those people out there who takers – or as someone once told me ‘emotional vampires’ The key is to quickly discern which category they fit into.

[Barbara Safani]

Kelly,

I think some people misunderstand the recruiter/candidate relationship and have unrealistic expectations about a recruiter's role in their search...this could account for some of the "bad behavior" as well. Thanks for reading!

[seo orange county]

Social networking finds you more friends and make you popular on internet.

ann torres